too much

We are dogsitting this week. Last night, as is customary lately, I got up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, which is where the dog sleeps. I don't like to turn the light on because I don't want her to think it's morning already, but I noticed it smelled like she was letting off some gas. Turns out she let out more than gas because my toe brushed against her poo pile. Wonderful. (Don't worry, I sanitized the foot.)

I forgave her of her poo misdeed and after work took her on a walk. She was trying to chase a squirrel down a pathway towards a nearby park when I heard a large rustling in the trees above, and then something hit me. I thought a squirrel threw some leaves or something, but it turns out a large bird had unloaded their poo and pee supply for the year (seemingly) down the arm of my pink "private club" jacket. Before I realized it, I got some on my hand. Holding the dog's leash is really a two hand matter because the little thing can drag me all over the place, so my non-poop hand was formed into a painful claw by the time I got home.

I should not be experiencing this much poop in a 24 hour span. Like my lack of sleep, is this a subconscious way to prepare me for motherhood?