Sunday, December 27, 2009

Happy third birthday, marriage!

Trick to see if your wedding photographer is bad: When you are sick of pictures and he asks you what else you want to do, say "go up to the top level of the rotunda and we will stand so that we are right in the middle of this garish, enormous Christmas wreath." If he agrees without hesitation, you got yourself a lemon.

But I don't need a poster sized artsy photo to know how this day changed my life forever. In the coolest way possible.

This picture made me laugh. About four of you might remember that there is another picture of me (at Ghandi's birthday party years ago) eating cake, and Jon's hand is also questionably posed like it is at left (sadly, Jon was cropped out). And it took me a while, but I found it.

And yes Mackenzie, I acknowledge I am making crazy dreamy photo eyes. Crazy, dreamy, and even staring off in a completely different direction.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

It's the most wonderful time of the years!

 (I love this last picture because it demonstrates perfectly how we all could be doing the most random things while Darien is always ready for the camera)

All these people are in my Christmas future. I could not be more excited. It's been three years since I was home for Christmas (Jake's fault) and then, I was 2 days away from getting married and I think I stole everyone's stress free Christmas away. The year before I was heartbroken and alone with my parents (all I remember is watching It's a Wonderful Life nearly in tears and sending a spiteful text message--I was pretty much insane). This year, everyone is together, a dog will be flown in, we will be sewing our faces off, making adventurous food, watching a bowl game, Dad will cry at whatever movie we see, and the wedding will be for my wonderful friend Nikki. AND there is no freakish snow on the ground that would delay our flight for a week. I want to do a little dance, I am so happy.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Boo finals

Jon's finals have left me bored, carless, and without cable. I've gotten a lot of hand quilting done, which is good, but I have to watch horrible things like Jay Leno (nevermind--hello Star Trek Next Generation!). Why does Kenz live three time zones away? But I do have a couple exciting things to announce. One, I bought 24 boxes of Chex last night and spent $36 and saved $60. Two, I bought our anniversary present today. We usually don't get presents because our anniversary is two days after Christmas, but this year we decided we wanted matching, supersoft bathrobes. Not monogrammed yet, but hopefully soon.

Photoboothing yourself in your new bathrobe is admittedly lame, but in the process I found out that Jon takes random pictures of himself when I am napping. Talk about an early Christmas present.

What do you think he was looking at?

Friday, December 11, 2009

Am I 24? or 54?

 I was just thinking about how I don't know what I want for Christmas. Mostly, I am so excited to see all my family and I am content with my mostly present-less Christmas (reason for that apparent in two sentences).  Well, I do want a few things, but they are so...not exciting when said out loud. I've gotten a few things already, like a cast iron pot (fist pump!) and my beautiful, amazing, already-been-used-for-hours-and-hours-and-more-hours Viking sewing machine (swoon!). I know, real exciting. The only other thing I could think of to tell Jon was jersey sheets, but then I watched Martha this morning and my world turned upside down...

A PASTA PRESS ATTACHMENT FOR YOUR KITCHENAID. And yes, it needed to be shouted. I think I was sold as soon as I saw it included a plate for bucatini, the best pasta ever. Like hollow spaghetti.  You just plop a lump of dough in there and you can have amazing homemade pasta. I need this. I want to make fresh rigatoni, fusilli, and macaroni. I am way too excited about this machine. Especially since it is $180. Jon, think of all the money I will save us...

I am so lost in homemaker gadgetland I can never be recovered. Which is fine. Back to sewing!

Monday, December 7, 2009

What I could be like with more motivation and talent

My sister Mackenzie is cool. She has a name that you can legitimately shorten (she is mostly known as "kenzie" in the professional realm). You can shorten my name ("mal") which many people call me, but mostly because it saves two syllables. (Does your nick name inherently mean "bad?") Sometimes Jon introduces me to new people as Mal, and it upsets me because I think he is telling people my name is the sound a cat makes. Anyway. Back to Kenz. She crafts and does wonderful things with crazy crafting tools and has a dream of crafting fo' life. And she is living it! Over Thanksgiving she sold her stuff at Second Storie Indie Market in Rochester and casually and easily made friends with some of the biggest crafters and bloggers in the country! (some from Portland, ps) Jealous! If you need ideas for some Christmas gifts head on over to her etsy site--her magnets look amazing and are so powerful if you try to make fake earrings with them it really hurts. Which is a good thing. (psst you should post your cards too sis)

And I love Kenz because she does not use the words "found" and "bespoke," two words that for me have become the equivalent of "moist." 

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Why have my last 3 posts been about TV?

Mal: Scrubs--Medical School seems a lot like...
Jon: Saved By the Bell: The New Class.
Mal: Exactly.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

And while we're at it...

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Oh, no you didn't

I need to be packing, but I'm wasting time and watching bad/great judge shows, because Comcast figured out they were giving us 40 channels for free last week. (wah wah wah...good while it lasted) And I have had two viruses in a row, so TV watching has been somewhat essential, you know how it is. Back to judge shows. They are numerous, and in my investigation of new-to-me channels I found this jem--

Nothing improves a horrible show with a horrible gimmick. See justice served live, on a sidewalk, with the sound of traffic in the background! (with Judge "Mazz")

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

What to do?


You spill water on a newly ordered library book (I am the first to check it out--ever)? I am going to have to turn it in and confess my deed. Do I send it with a note? Do I tell the kind older lady or younger tattooed lady that I would like to buy the book outright, because it pretty much changed my life?

Then, every time I reach the epilogue and turn the very wrinkled pages, it will remind me of that plane ride. The ride where I spilled a full cup of ice water on the book and my lap, making me look like I peed my pants. And I didn't care about other people seeing that guilty looking patch of pants, but I did care about walking around the airport with very wet, cold jeans. Which is the worst. (!) I've come a long way since high school, when I sat in a wet restaurant chair before the homecoming dance, staining my gray satin skirt. I was so emotionally fragile and nervous that I first accused my overly sweaty legs of soaking through 10 layers of tulle rather than think the chair was to blame. I spent the rest of the night overly apologetic and shuffling along walls to hide the dark spot.

So I really hope I can buy this book. Because it reminds me of how much I love being a twin, how much I love actually having self esteem (and not being in high school), and how I probably got the swine flu from the guy coughing next to me on the plane. All equally important and historic facts.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Perfect dance pants

It's embarrassing when you take the trouble to create a meticulous costume, only to have someone else show up wearing the same thing.

And my friend Tara had no idea who Hulk Hogan was or is. Like never, ever heard of him. My mind was blown, to say the least. (Sorry Tara, but this was so astonishing to me that it had to be made public.)

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Lesson learned?

You can never go through too many safety scenarios with your mother. Yesterday, our past conversation about how to deal with sinister dogs on a run became relevant and significant (although became slightly muddled with grizzly tips in the moment).

I was barely out of my house and down the street when an enormous German Shepherd-type dog came running down a driveway, snarling and crouching straight at me. I started running towards a fence and panicked, thinking some thing like,  "I'm going to get mauled. Right now. I don't know what to do. What do I do?" Subconsciously I remembered that dogs like to chase, so I stopped running, turned around, and tried to stop the dog with some type of yelled word, a combination of "stop" and "gah." I don't know if the dog just wanted to scare me or I scared the dog, but he ran back to the house. Also I remember thinking "make yourself look big," and then realized I have no idea how to do that. And really, how do you do that?

I learned two things--it turns out I can slightly control myself in a scary situation, and my bear defense skills are severely lacking.

(When I got home I emailed Jon my dramatic tale of horror, and his response was something like "Sounds scary. While we are on the subject, can you turn in the Netflix?")

Wednesday, October 14, 2009


Wednesday, September 30, 2009

A dog in the lap is worth two in the window

Mia. You are beyond cute. You love to snuggle. You think I'm the jam. You love to play with great danes. But you are gassy. Real, real, gassy. Next time you come over let's work on that, shall we?


Wednesday, September 23, 2009

go see

Each night in September, birds called Vaux's Swifts migrate south and roost in a chimney of an old elementary school in downtown Portland (largest known roosting site in the world, ps). They are tiny, black, bat-like birds that gather at sunset, and suddenly enter the chimney, creating swirling formations and attracting predator hawks. If you are in Portland, I highly recommend taking a blanket, snacks, and join the hundreds of people that watch the show each night. It was amazing. We went again last night, and Jon and I were the only ones of the group that had the honor of being pooped on.

Don't forget your swift costume.

And as I mentioned above, sitting close is exciting, but in the poop splash zone, so weigh the risks.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Hall Travel Gallery

Although at sometimes disputed, Jon has great (well, passable) fire-making skills. And is partially transparent here.

"Chateau" can mean many different things to many different people. (Can you find me?)

When in Cave Junction, do as the Cave Junctioners do.

All worthy enormous trees should be named and labeled. A six mile hike, however, may not be the best way to see one. So I might have stretched the truth in my last post, but who cares. It felt like seven.

Great ideas happen after laying awake for hours the night before, worrying about bears. (Thus, s'more pancakes with a touch of maple. Genius!)

Always stop and check out things that have the word "devil" associated with it. Guaranteed good.

Always have a plan B.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Travelling, Hall style

When camping, it is important to loose yourself in nature, but don't get too lost. When you go to set up camp and realize you forgot your tent poles at home, having a store nearby to buy a new shelter is essential.

Estimate at least two hours to make a fire.

Try to stay in remote mountian hotels with minimal frills and comfortable lodges. A seemingly minimum entrance age of 65 is a plus.

If you feel like a seven mile hike, skip it and go with the two miler. Trust me.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Technology love

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Niecie Reesie!

Jake, Lindsay, and Reese came to visit this week and it was so good to have them here! Reese walked on sand for the first time and was slightly weirded out at first. Jon and I also had some time to take carefully composed, expertly lighted shots with our new camera. Which really means we hit the shutter button and hoped for the best.

I call this one, "Things Sure Were Great Before We Had Kids." or "Wait...for me...please?"

"Unfortunately, Jon Hates to Be Excluded"

Reese is so cute, smart, and best of all, impressionable. We thought it was important to leave Jake and Lindsay with a way to remember us, so we taught her how to unlock his iTouch. (Sorry Gramps and Grams, your phones are no longer kid proof.) I hope Jake isn't too annoyed with us, but he is generally the best behaved Naylor so I'm not worried. Next up, inappropriate words...

Wednesday, August 5, 2009


Last week: Face in AC unit, sweating, cursing.
Today: Long sleeves, fingers freezing, hot peppermint tea.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

The question is not why...

But for $3, who wouldn't? It's a sweater, by the way. And Photobooth does not show that this is a distinct pea-soup green. Also not pictured--a sailor suit, toddler size 5. That was Jon's purchase.

I can't even try this on--the thought makes even my fingernails sweat in this 107?8? degree heat. The past few days I have sat in a completely dark apartment, listening to my so-so AC unit, and staring at my neighbor's central AC fan with pure, unadulterated jealousy.

Don't get me wrong. I love Portland very dearly. But, each season here has had a week of freakishly snowy, or freakishly hot, or freakishly dry weather that others swear "never happens." Other Portlanders seem to have a selective memory when it comes to weather--winters are always 40 degrees and rainy, spring is just plain rainy, and summers are always 80 degrees. Has this paragraph turned into a slight rant? Forgive me Portland! It's just my knee pit sweat talking.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Goodness Gracious, Gracious Goodness.

I happened to stumble upon the greatest of Martha shows today--it was completely devoted to my most secretly favorite of all foods, the hot dog. And this creation left me speechless. I am always talking up the wonders of hot dogs and macaroni and cheese (to Jon's disgust), but I had not thought about combining them on a bun! Man.... oh man.

Monday, July 20, 2009

At least I can laugh about it now. Not that anyone else ever had a problem with that.

I called my orthodontist in Boise last week, asking about getting new retainers sent to me because I am gnawing holes through them at night. The conversation went something like this:

Me: I'm calling to get some new retainers. My name is Malorie Hall, but I might be under...

Receptionist: Oh, we have you here under Malorie Naylor. Let me check with Dr. T. Are you going to be in town soon?

(Pause for the WORST hold music I think I have ever heard. A rendition of a classic orchestral piece by someone who was a huge fan of "Lampchop" and "This is the Song that Never Ends.")

Receptionist: Looks like we need to get a new impression. The front tooth of your model chipped.

Oh, the irony. Plus, can we note that she basically knew me by my first name? The first time I got braces I was called Marjorie for 3 years, so I guess you get braces on twice and you become a celebrity.

Or, everyone remembers you because you were 20 the second time around and you sobbed uncontrollably the whole time they were putting them on. Yeah, maybe that's it.

Before you all think I am consumed by vanity, (but let's not ignore that meeting my future in laws in silver braces was horrifying enough, and probably responsible for a certain family pushing someone to "date other people" that summer) braces were to me a time machine sending me back to 14 years old. And if you knew me at 14...well, you might just understand. I mean, do you want to be 14 again? That's what I thought.

And in the now humorous spirit of remembering that time four years ago, I would like to apologize publicly to my brother, who got home from work and was told by my mother--"Now, it was a surprise, but Malorie had to get braces put on today." I think she tried to give him a look like, "This is not the time to make a joke!" He then promptly made a joke, and I think I gave him a look that would have made the lighting bolt-shaped scar on his forehead burn with evil (if he were to possess such a thing, of course).

Friday, July 17, 2009


Ol' squinty eyes... How come you're so awesome?

Happy 27 to Jon's twin-in-law Tyler too.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009


This is what happens when you leave your hand drawn "self-portraits" around the house. Look how carefully his little axe hands are sketched.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Prius! Double Prius!

With berries like this, who needs grandbabies?

My parents came this weekend, and I wanted them (aka my dad) to get to know our home, as well as find out you don't have to be a registered Democrat to cross the Willamette and we don't bow to the West at noon in salute to Obama. Although they got a kick out of saying "Prius!" every time one drove by, which meant Mom got a little competitive. We crammed a lot of Portland-y stuff into the 4 days, like berry picking, visiting a farmer's market, riding bikes, nature walks, and homeless watching. We even went to the Charthouse, a fancy pants restaurant overlooking the city that we always went to as a family in Boise before it was tragically turned into a Joe's Crab Shack. The only bad thing was the heat wave that accompanied them (96 degrees Friday compared to 70 degrees today!) They pretended not to notice.

Dad picked the most raspberries (I think I was contractually obligated to say that in my blog).

The highlight for me was this moment--

Dad: Did you see that huge creature I pulled out of your shower drain?
Mom: But I thought I already cleaned their shower drain!

There are times when you never question a parent's love.

We made enough delicious jam to last me a year (I hope)

Bet you can't tell this wasn't spontaneous.

This picture has little significance except you can see my bike, and we have no idea why it distorted the way it did.

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Still wish there were Creamies waiting at the end, but...

It's hard for me to believe that I have completed a marathon, although the entire lower half of my body did a good job of reminding me any time I even looked at a stair the past few days. Less than 2 years ago I was running/limping a 5k with my mother in law, Jon dragging me to the finish line as I cursed every awful step. The only thing that was the same this time was that Jon's mom still beat me. In all my training I never really hit the proverbial "wall" on a long run, but at around mile 24 we became intimately acquainted. I felt like I was going to throw up, collapse, and start crying as I warbled to Jon, "I know it's just 2 miles away but I just... just... need to walk." After that passed we were able to run to the end (4:39:50) feeling good. I'm pretty proud that we didn't stop to walk for over 23 miles. And grateful that Jon slowed down and ran the whole thing with me.

Running in Seattle was beautiful and there was even a bald eagle perched off the course, but the end left a little to be desired, refreshment and recovery wise. I guess I was spoiled in Ogden, but the hot concrete and dried up bagels were not what I was looking for, and it was ironic that after 5 hours of drinking sugary weird Cytomax the only other non water option was iced tea, which I don't drink. But, I'm nitpicking here.

If you're really interested you can go to the Seattle Rock 'n' Roll website and look up my name to watch a webcast of our finish. But if you don't, I'll sum it up for you. We're happy and holding hands, smiling... smiling... Finish! The smile is wiped off my face and I slowly slump away.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Almost done! Kind of

Jon finished his first year of dental school yesterday. I told him to sit back and relax, run a marathon with me tomorrow, and start school in another week.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Thanks Google.

You give me money while I learn things (Bruce Lee did not complete his college degree; the Chinese used forks before they used chopsticks) but you also let me know that the striking bird I saw outside my window with the mohawk was a Stellar's Jay.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

What came in it, you ask? One pair of shoes.

Possible parachute.
Unusual size.
Pleasingly crinkly.
Waterproof potato sack races.

All reasons why this bag is not being thrown away.