Tuesday, January 27, 2009

I am not a used car salesman for many reasons.

Kenz and I were in the Japanese bookstore, looking at the tiny plastic sausage erasers and Hello Kitty staple removers, when we saw tiny replicas of Eames chairs in 4 inch square boxes. We realized we needed matching Eames Rockers. A tiny alarm went off in my head ("Jon is going to think this is a knick knack...he will not enjoy this..."), but it was ignored, tiny chairs purchased. We came home and opened the boxes, thinking some number in Japanese on the side told us the model we picked out. Not true. One was a molded plastic-type chair, the other a more boring office type chair. We were kind of bummed...They were also way smaller than anticipated (my first two fingers hardly sit comfortably). I figured I'd just return them since they seemed to fall under their return policy.

I went back today to return the chairs. I was greeted with a blank stare. I told her I wanted to return them. She became uncomfortable and was looking at the policy to see how I could be rejected. She muttered something about a "surprise box," and went to get someone else. After a lot of Japanese, girl #2 bluntly told me they fell under the "stationary" category and they were not returnable. Then they blankly stared at me. I was (understandably, I thought) confused. And, when given a blank stare and no talking, I start in with slightly sarcastic questions.

Me: "Stationary? Is that because you can write on tiny plastic chairs?"
Her: (stares)
Me: (stares back)
Her: Actually, they are a surprise box, and you can't return those.
Me: "That's not listed in your policy." (nor on the box--although it's all Japanese)
Her: (stares)
Me: "So... surprise boxes aren't listed on the policy because you want to "surprise" the customer when they want to return it?"
Her: (stares).

You get the idea. After a few seconds I realized that we were in a staring contest and I was competing against a master of stoicism. I made a few frustrated noises, conceded defeat and walked away, although fuming. I bought some tiny bottles of fibe-mini (see below) to ease my anger, and got comfortable with my two new knick knacks.

One more thing--A definition of a "knick-knack" would be a small item placed on display with no real purpose or use. Imagine my surprise when I found my knick-knack hating husband's gift to the book case recently...

So what's worse... a tiny replica of iconic design, or a replica of a housemember's teeth gathering dust?


The Smiths said...

i loved this post. and... seriously, stationary? stationary?!?

Lorrie said...

between the teeth and the cute chair is the book "The Miracle of Forgiveness." Hmmm...

But I also have to say (and you know I don't like knick-knacks, either) that I like the little chair, but not the teeth so much.

Malorie said...

Here's the difference:
Two plastic mini chairs- $15.90
Two plaster arches of gorgeous teeth- $0.00

Ana Lee said...

hahaha I am laughing SOOOO hard. That is hilarious and definitely crazy.

"Gosh dang half-Japanese girls, doin it to me all the time..." -Weezer

Megan said...

The teeth are way worse. For sure. ha. And I quite enjoyed this post.

Megan said...

Oh and about the cost of the teeth- I have to disagree. Those were not free. Lets try again:
Little plastic mini chairs aka Stationary= $15.90
Nasty teeth replica= upwards of $50,000.
Lets look at it that way. Thats how I prefer to justify most of my purchases to Tyler. He is WAY more expensive than I am. : )

Logan said...

Hey, this is for Jon. Diego Tisne just emailed me for the first time in a while. Among other things he asked for your email address. His current email is diego10tisne@hotmail.com if you want to send him a line, or email me at logan.sessions@gmail.com so I can send him your address and he can write you. Thanks, I hope dental school is treating you well.