Monday, December 8, 2008

Practicality-1, Vanity-0

The largest pupils I have ever experienced. Please ignore the Brooke Shields-like growth above my eyes.

My roommates in college gave me cat-related nicknames. This was brought upon by my awkward movements, sometimes high pitched noises, and huge pupils. And I might have crouched on counter tops. After an unusual freshman roommate who chose to be called "kitty" and spoke to her cat on the phone, I did not particularly enjoy those comparisons. I tried to stop cat like behavior, but things like my pupils could not be helped.

Those memories resurfaced today as I sat in the optometry office of the aptly named Dr. Peek, who asked me a question I have never heard in all my many years of eye exams--"Is it ok if I dilate your pupils?" My first instinct was to look disgusted and refuse. I thought dilating eyes at exams went out of style about the same time hard contacts went extinct. Plus, weren't my pupils massive enough on their own? The wrap around sunglasses, the sensitivity to light--timidly I found myself saying, "Ok." The exam wasn't all that bad besides the million-candle-power lights shined into my retinas, Dr. Peek's bad breath (how do you not have breath mints as an optometrist?), and how he kept calling me "ma-LOR-ie". I actually left with a little optical pat on the back as my eyes have finally stopped worsening and improved instead. ("Well Dr. Peek, if you have to know, I do take a vitamin D supplement daily.")

As I left, I was given a pair of magical wrap arounds that clung to my face. I accepted them because I thought they were funny, not because I would actually wear them. As I was squinting painfully on the drive home, I gave up and stuck them on my face, and sighed in relief as the bright lights dimmed.

Much better.

6 comments:

Kenzie said...

I totally understand about the pupils things. obviously. I had a doctor exclaim that mine were the biggest pupils he had laid eye on. That may hold us back from getting lasik someday but no way am I letting a vaccuum laser razor near my eyes, so no worries.

Mat, Liss and Zach said...

wow! I have to say your eyes look scary! keep it up! maybe you can gain power by intimidating people with your huge pupils ;)

Tim and Tricia Layton said...

Let's hope kira doesn't see this! Haha! You crack me up!

Lorrie said...

Is it really so bad to be called "ma-LOR-ie"? Too bad we didn't spell your name with two "R"s. My optomitrist has a little plastic shield that hangs down and separates our faces, probably for both our sakes. Genetically speaking, I wonder how the large pupil thing occurred. Neither your dad, Jake, or myself have that. Maybe you're aliens.

jennifer hall said...

The better to see you with my dear! I think they are groovy--haven't heard that word for a while.I can't believe how long your hair is--it is longer than mine.
Jennifer

Courtney and Nate said...

Hey now, people who talk to their cats on the phone aren't that bad! Come on!