1) Having the best time of your life in the tub. 2) Two seconds later, you poop in the tub and your life (or bath) as you know it ends, suddenly and abruptly.
You know how much I love Theo. He's the maple frosting on my old fashioned doughnut. [pause as I flick two ants off my arm. Jon left out a bacon grease-filled paper towel one night, and our lives haven't been quite the same since. How do you put an ant trap in a dishwasher?] I live for his toddle, his hugs with accompanying back-pat. However, with his burgeoning communication skills arrives a new family member--frustration. I mean from him, not from me. He learned how to unlock my phone, so when I take it away so he doesn't delete all my apps--meltdown. Pajama time? Meltdown. Tired? Hungry? Have the need to wander in a non-wander zone? He starts to squeal, while arching his back and violently flinging his head. He balances on the ground in an upside-down U on the top of his head and heels, usually with a couple rolls thrown in. He even head butted me (so hard!) in the most vulnerable area of my body, my kill zone, my fragile yet insanely expensive fake front teeth.
I don't want to make him sound like a terror, 99% of the time he is a pure joy. And honestly, I think his meltdowns are entertaining. I just have to let the worst pass and redirect, and it doesn't take too long. The worst part is that we are also in the midst of transition nap time (or, TNT--where two naps become one, but you never know when or where naps really happen). So both these phenomena together mostly leave me scratching my head. I know I'm in a phase where Future Malorie is looking at me and laughing that I don't know that Theo just needs ____. And I don't know what ____ is, because I'm Present Malorie. So there's nothing I can do until Present Malorie turns into Future Malorie, where I will know the solution was that he needed a nap at 10:30 and 2:00, or that his front bottom tooth and all his molars are pushing through at once. But right now, Present Malorie is stuck in ignorance, so I'm popping in my mouth gaurd and treating each nap time with a victory peanut butter cup.