Tuesday, August 16, 2011

My life right now.



1) Having the best time of your life in the tub. 2) Two seconds later, you poop in the tub and your life (or bath) as you know it ends, suddenly and abruptly.


You know how much I love Theo. He's the maple frosting on my old fashioned doughnut. [pause as I flick two ants off my arm. Jon left out a bacon grease-filled paper towel one night, and our lives haven't been quite the same since. How do you put an ant trap in a dishwasher?] I live for his toddle, his hugs with accompanying back-pat.  However, with his burgeoning communication skills arrives a new family member--frustration. I mean from him, not from me. He learned how to unlock my phone, so when I take it away so he doesn't delete all my apps--meltdown. Pajama time? Meltdown. Tired? Hungry? Have the need to wander in a non-wander zone? He starts to squeal, while arching his back and violently flinging his head. He balances on the ground in an upside-down U on the top of his head and heels, usually with a couple rolls thrown in. He even head butted me (so hard!) in the most vulnerable area of my body, my kill zone, my fragile yet insanely expensive fake front teeth.

I don't want to make him sound like a terror, 99% of the time he is a pure joy. And honestly, I think his meltdowns are entertaining. I just have to let the worst pass and redirect, and it doesn't take too long. The worst part is that we are also in the midst of transition nap time (or, TNT--where two naps become one, but you never know when or where naps really happen). So both these phenomena together mostly leave me scratching my head. I know I'm in a phase where Future Malorie is looking at me and laughing that I don't know that Theo just needs ____. And I don't know what ____ is, because I'm Present Malorie. So there's nothing I can do until Present Malorie turns into Future Malorie, where I will know the solution was that he needed a nap at 10:30 and 2:00, or that his front bottom tooth and all his molars are pushing through at once. But right now, Present Malorie is stuck in ignorance, so I'm popping in my mouth gaurd and treating each nap time with a victory peanut butter cup.

9 comments:

Ty and Meg said...

Ooo I could really go for a victory peanut butter cup. Maybe if I survive my work day? Seeing as I have no experience in this department I have nothing to contribute other than to say keep celebrating those small victories with peanut butter cups.

v a n e s s a said...

you are hilarious.

also i almost got head butted once by theo but i dodged it and he got my upper chest. that little boy packs a punch.

i'm going to go ahead and hope that your present malorie can serve as a future vanessa and my way is already paved...

he looks like he's feeling better! minus the bath pooping obviously. that will ruin anyones day...

joeryanfishjr said...

i heart that mad mouth.

Heather K said...

You basically summed up motherhood of a toddler in ONE blog post. Quite a literary feat. I can relate to every sentence you wrote with our 21-month old, BUT I can also say that having a 4-year-old and being my future self...It gets easier, you worry less, tantrums don't phase me much and they occur fewer the more kids you have---that's one weird but true inverse relationship! And my favorite treat EVER is a home made maple donut :)

Marissa said...

Ahh, well when future Malorie figures it out tell future Marissa, because I'm pretty sure i'll still be struggling with some aspect of it. Although naps I've got down, head butting other children I do not.

Kirt said...
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Lorrie said...

Wow, so he's doing bridge pose in yoga? (or pilates, either way, it's a core-strengthener!) And just when present Malorie figures it all out, it will change--again! You are a wise, wonderful mom!

kenzie said...

first of all those photos are magical. I do love to laugh at tantrums sometimes, and theo's mad face is just too funny!

Lesley said...

greatest post ever.